"I'll Have What He's Having."

tdksucks — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 07:03:46 +0000

In the world of super-realistic Batman, if you get half your face melted off, you are endowed with the following amazing super powers:

A magic eyeball that is impervious to harm, even if every piece of flesh around it is burned beyond recognition. You will no longer need to fear death because your eyeball will live on.
Immunity to infection that would kill any normal human being.
Be able to speak with your normal voice even though half your mouth and lips are scorched off.
The power of instant teleportation and being able to get to any part of a city in the blink of an impervious eye.
The ability to kill someone in a car crash while riding in the same car and, even though you enter the car with half an exposed face, and the other person just has (almost) broken legs, you will be the one who survives UNHARMED.
Be endowed with the ability to be the only one of a few people on Earth who not only shoots AT batman with an actual gun (versus using fists, sticks, pipes, and dogs), but actually hitting him with a bullet.
Be able to find anyone you’re looking for, anywhere, at any time, when you need to find them.

The Dark Knight Sucks » car crash