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<channel>
	<title>The Dark Knight Sucks &#187; Story/Plot Problems</title>
	<atom:link href="http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com/category/storyplot-problems/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com</link>
	<description>Why so delirious?</description>
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		<title>Null Key Encryption</title>
		<link>http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com/2009/06/19/null-key-encryption/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com/2009/06/19/null-key-encryption/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 20 Jun 2009 01:30:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tdksucks</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Story/Plot Problems]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thedarkknightsucks.com/?p=626</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ah so this crap is all over cable now.
The scene where Bruce tells Lucious about the massive sonar computer/contraption and implies that it&#8217;s super-secure and only accessible to one person &#8211; Lucious.  He states that it&#8217;s &#8220;null key encrypted&#8221;.
Uhhh&#8230;.
http://stevechallis.com/journal/post/9
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-627" src="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/complex.jpg" alt="" width="100" height="150" />Ah so this crap is all over cable now.</p>
<p>The scene where Bruce tells Lucious about the massive sonar computer/contraption and implies that it&#8217;s super-secure and only accessible to one person &#8211; Lucious.  He states that it&#8217;s &#8220;null key encrypted&#8221;.</p>
<p>Uhhh&#8230;.</p>
<p><a href="http://stevechallis.com/journal/post/9">http://stevechallis.com/journal/post/9</a></p>
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		<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>How to be Omniscient</title>
		<link>http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/08/03/how-to-be-omniscient/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/08/03/how-to-be-omniscient/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 03 Aug 2008 22:51:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tdksucks</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Story/Plot Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Writing/Direction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[explosives]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[henchmen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Joker]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[money]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Joker]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thedarkknightsucks.wordpress.com/?p=515</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I wanted to do a little something different in this article.  Rather than my writing about why something couldn&#8217;t have possibly worked in the storyline, or how ridiculous something was in the storyline, I&#8217;m swinging the door open for people to submit HOW they believe it could be plausible in the storyline.  I will present [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/wobbly-joker.gif"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-579" src="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/wobbly-joker.gif" alt="" width="148" height="120" /></a>I wanted to do a little something different in this article.  Rather than my writing about why something couldn&#8217;t have possibly worked in the storyline, or how ridiculous something was in the storyline, I&#8217;m swinging the door open for people to submit HOW they believe it could be plausible in the storyline.  I will present an idiotic repeating aspect of the storyline, and the challenge is to share the MOST PLAUSIBLE explanation.  That means, no responses like &#8220;Who cares? It&#8217;s a comic book.&#8221; (since the goal of Nolan&#8217;s vision was full realism).</p>
<p>In the storyline (which seems to have taken place within the estimated span of 2-4 weeks), The Joker seems to be able to get mass volumes of explosives seemingly wherever he wanted them.  Literally hundreds of metal barrels filled with a liquid explosive of some kind and who knows what else (enough to blow up large buildings) in:</p>
<p>2 buildings (seemed like warehouses)<br />
2 large boats<br />
A major metropolitan hospital</p>
<ol>
<li>Where could he BUY such large amounts of explosives from, considering Homeland Security?</li>
<li>How does he get such mass volumes of explosives into the buildings without anyone noticing?  Especially the hospital?  Considering he would need large trucks, dollies, drivers, and various henchmen to move it all in, and even more people and time to hook the explosives up to detonate in sync?</li>
<li>How could he replenish his henchmen so easily and regularly considering that he killed so many of them?  How does he generate and maintain loyalty, and how does he reward that loyalty?</li>
<li>If he burned mountains of money and didn&#8217;t care about having very much, how did he pay his henchmen?  Did they just work for free?</li>
<li>How did he do all this and still be able to be multiple steps ahead of his opponents?</li>
</ol>
<p>Responses have to be PLAUSIBLE, believable, and reality-based.</p>
<p><a title="Bookmark and Share" href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?pub=tdksucks&amp;url=http://thedarkknightsucks.com/how-to-be-omniscient/&amp;title=How%20to%20be%20Omniscient" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-share.gif" border="0" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" height="16" /></a></p>
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		<slash:comments>108</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>These Legos Don&#039;t Fit Together</title>
		<link>http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/08/01/these-legos-dont-fit/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/08/01/these-legos-dont-fit/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 02 Aug 2008 01:20:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tdksucks</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Story/Plot Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Writing/Direction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chaos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[confusion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[convoluted]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[imdb]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[no sense]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the dark knight]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thedarkknightsucks.wordpress.com/?p=528</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I found this commentary on the IMDB.com TDK board.  I can&#8217;t seem to find the details of the original post, but it matches my own assessment pretty well, so I share it here as-is and unedited:
“
If I understand it correctly, Gordon faked his own death (even though it&#8217;s edited to make it look like he got [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/batman-minifig.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-566" src="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/batman-minifig.jpg" alt="" width="110" height="150" /></a>I found this commentary on the IMDB.com TDK board.  I can&#8217;t seem to find the details of the original post, but it matches my own assessment pretty well, so I share it here as-is and unedited:</p>
<blockquote><p><em><span style="color:#006600;"><span style="font-size:42px;font-family:Georgia,sans-serif;">“</span><br />
If I understand it correctly, Gordon faked his own death (even though it&#8217;s edited to make it look like he got shot for real) to protect his family. Batman then decides to announce who he is but Dent takes his place. The Joker intercepts the Dent convoy but is himself intercepted by Batman. Carnage ensues including the destruction of large parts of the Gotham road system and various buildings and, seemingly by fortune, Batman, the Joker and, the driver of the convoy who is, of course, Gordon, reach a point at which the Joker is captured. Unfortunately for them that&#8217;s what he wanted all along.</span></em></p>
<p><em><span style="color:#006600;">So: doesn&#8217;t make very little sense when you try and add it up from characters&#8217; POV. Why would Gordon legitimise such a ridiculous plan: there&#8217;s no guarantee it would work and he&#8217;s placing the lives of his men and Dent in very real jeopardy because he knows the Joker is coming for them. Batman may suffer from incredible pride but there&#8217;s no way he could have planned, forseen or even imagained such a successful scenario as him flipping the Joker&#8217;s truck, faking his defeat and Gordon&#8217;s reappearance because it all happened just metres away from his vehicle. The Joker needs Dent for phase 2 of this particular plan os his attempt at killing him is self serving. He needs to be caught AND he needs the guy with the phone in his stomach to make it with him otherwise he&#8217;s got no way to get Lao or the money. He surely should have walked into the station with his men a la Se7en!</span></em></p>
<p><em><span style="color:#006600;">I put this to a friend and he suggested the whole &#8216;agent of chaos&#8217; angle which doesn&#8217;t work for me because Dent, Gordon and Batman ren&#8217;t agents of chaos and that&#8217;s the force they&#8217;re fighting against. If the Joker had initiated this then, yes, I could agree. But this is their party which the Joker crashes.</span></em></p>
<p><em><span style="color:#006600;">(I also have another one which is a little smaller and more of a quibble. But all of the Joker&#8217;s plans are well prepared, well researched and devoted entirely to a double aim in which everyone looks one way while he goes the other. The only case that&#8217;s not true for is the boats. There&#8217;s nothing the Gotham PD can do OTHER THAN look for him. That does seem a) out of character (this is supposedly the beginning of &#8216;the game&#8217;&#8230; he doesn&#8217;t seem to have prepared particularly well) amd b) a writer&#8217;s convenience. The end of the Joker Batman story comes again through circumstance. Not sure on this one but thought I&#8217;d mention it while I&#8217;m writing).span&gt;</span></em></p>
<p><em><span style="color:#006600;">But am I wrong? Maybe I missed something? Thoghts comments and flames wanted and expected&#8230;!<br />
<span style="font-size:42px;font-family:Georgia,sans-serif;">”</span></span></em></p></blockquote>
<p><a href="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/joker-minifig.jpg"><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-565" src="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/joker-minifig.jpg" alt="" width="142" height="150" /></a><br />
Lots of salient points in there.</p>
<p><a title="Bookmark and Share" href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?pub=tdksucks&amp;url=http://thedarkknightsucks.com/these-legos-dont-fit/&amp;title=These%20Legos%20Don't%20Fit%20Together" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-share.gif" border="0" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" height="16" /></a></p>
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		<slash:comments>32</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>&quot;I&#039;ll Have What He&#039;s Having.&quot;</title>
		<link>http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/07/31/ill-have-what-hes-having/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/07/31/ill-have-what-hes-having/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 31 Jul 2008 07:03:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tdksucks</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Story/Plot Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Visuals/Effects]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Writing/Direction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[car crash]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Entertainment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[eye]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[eyeball]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Two-Face]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thedarkknightsucks.wordpress.com/?p=428</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[



In the world of super-realistic Batman, if you get half your face melted off, you are endowed with the following amazing super powers:








A magic eyeball that is impervious to harm, even if every piece of flesh around it is burned beyond recognition.  You will no longer need to fear death because your eyeball will live [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<table border="0">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td><a href="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/eye.jpg"><img src="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/eye.jpg" alt="" width="140" height="144" /></a></td>
<td width="100%" valign="bottom">In the world of super-realistic Batman, if you get half your face melted off, you are endowed with the following amazing super powers:</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
<table border="0">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td>
<ul>
<li>A magic eyeball that is impervious to harm, even if every piece of flesh around it is burned beyond recognition.  You will no longer need to fear death because your eyeball will live on.</li>
<li>Immunity to infection that would kill any normal human being.</li>
<li>Be able to speak with your normal voice even though half your mouth and lips are scorched off.</li>
<li>The power of instant teleportation and being able to get to any part of a city in the blink of an impervious eye.</li>
<li>The ability to kill someone in a car crash while riding in the same car and, even though you enter the car with half an exposed face, and the other person just has (almost) broken legs, you will be the one who survives UNHARMED.</li>
<li>Be endowed with the ability to be the only one of a few people on Earth who not only shoots AT batman with an actual gun (versus using fists, sticks, pipes, and dogs), but actually hitting him with a bullet.</li>
<li>Be able to find anyone you&#8217;re looking for, anywhere, at any time, when you need to find them.</li>
</ul>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
<p><a title="Bookmark and Share" href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?pub=tdksucks&amp;url=http://thedarkknightsucks.com/ill-have-what-hes-having/&amp;title=%22I'll%20Have%20What%20He's%20Having.%22" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-share.gif" border="0" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" height="16" /></a></p>
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		<slash:comments>40</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Magic School Bus: Bustin&#039; Through</title>
		<link>http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/07/27/the-magic-school-bus-bustin-through/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/07/27/the-magic-school-bus-bustin-through/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 27 Jul 2008 21:38:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tdksucks</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Story/Plot Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Writing/Direction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bank]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[school bus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[short bus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[smash]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TDK]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the dark knight]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Joker]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thedarkknightsucks.wordpress.com/?p=306</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
How in the world can a big yellow school bus crash through a bank and nobody on the street seems to notice?  Further, after the bak robbery, the bus COINCIDENTALLY pulls out of the bank and into the middle of a line of other school buses in broad daylight, with cops right up the street and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/school-bus.gif"></a></p>
<p><a href="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/school-bus.gif"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-309" src="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/school-bus.gif" alt="" width="150" height="157" /></a>How in the world can a big yellow school bus crash through a bank and nobody on the street seems to notice?  Further, after the bak robbery, the bus COINCIDENTALLY pulls out of the bank and into the middle of a line of other school buses in broad daylight, with cops right up the street and no one decides to pull the bus over?</p>
<p>Has wnyone ever seen a school bus line?  They follow each other closer than elephants, they barely give inches of space between them yet somehow The Joker had enough room to pull out of a gaping hole in a building into traffic in the middle of a bus line and everything continues as normal in traffic as if nobody could have possibly noticed.</p>
<p>This was the end of the opening scene of the movie.  It pretty much matches how the rest of the movie goes &#8211; &#8220;This is supposed to be real &#8211; oh wait, now we have something completely unrealistic happen. But, serious, it&#8217;s real, don&#8217;t suspend your disbelief just yet. Oh, but wait, actually do suspend your disbelief.  No, it&#8217;s realistic. OK, it isn&#8217;t.&#8221;</p>
<p><a title="Bookmark and Share" href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?pub=tdksucks&amp;url=http://thedarkknightsucks.com/the-magic-school-bus-bustin-through/&amp;title=The%20Magic%20School%20Bus:%20Bustin'%20Through" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-share.gif" border="0" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" height="16" /></a></p>
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		<slash:comments>19</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>About Suspension of Disbelief</title>
		<link>http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/07/27/about-suspension-of-disbelief/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/07/27/about-suspension-of-disbelief/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 27 Jul 2008 07:25:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tdksucks</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Editing/Sound]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Makeup/Custume]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Story/Plot Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Subpar Acting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Visuals/Effects]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Writing/Direction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[believability]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chris Nolan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[plausible]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[realism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[suspension of disbelief]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thedarkknightsucks.wordpress.com/?p=356</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There&#8217;s a notion when watching/reading fictional movies/stories, and it&#8217;s called &#8220;suspension of disbelief&#8221;.  Most contemporary movies, even if they are based within reality, require the audience to maintain at least SOME suspension of disbelief.  Suspension of disbelief is [from Wikipedia] &#8220;the willingness of a person to accept as true the premises of a work of [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/bush-stupid.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-364" src="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/bush-stupid.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="127" /></a>There&#8217;s a notion when watching/reading fictional movies/stories, and it&#8217;s called &#8220;suspension of disbelief&#8221;.  Most contemporary movies, even if they are based within reality, require the audience to maintain at least SOME suspension of disbelief.  Suspension of disbelief is [from Wikipedia] &#8220;the willingness of a person to accept as true the premises of a work of fiction, even if they are fantastic or impossible&#8221;.</p>
<p>Yes, &#8220;The Dark Knight&#8221; is a piece of fiction.  It is a piece of fantasy, based on a comic book.  However, the clear premise of the rebooted Batman series, and the clear goals of Chris Nolan, the director, is to ground the fiction in reality.  Nolan goes to great effort to place the world of Batman into the real world, including: the locations, the characters, the story dynamics, and the plausibility of the elements of the story and plot.  That is the obvious goal. Especially in &#8220;The Dark Knight&#8221;, extending from the basis of &#8220;Batman Begins&#8221;, there is a persistent focus on keeping things realistic and not idealistic.  TDK is an attempt at taking something sourced from fantasy and placing it into reality, and also removing any semblance of idealism.</p>
<p>That&#8217;s all find and good &#8211; it&#8217;s an interesting goal and &#8220;Batman Begins&#8221; pulled it off quite well.  Watching BB, the audience can truly believe the various aspects of the story.  <strong>The main problem with TDK is that it fails miserably in that regard</strong>.  There are numerous scenes and situations that are completely not plausible at all, and the audience is expected to have a greater suspension of disbelief than what is implied throughout.  It steals from the audience the very thing that is meant to prop the value of the movie up in the first place.  The movie contradicts itself, it cheats itself, and the audience.  To compensate, what the audience is given is a lot of explosions and sadistic scenes, and the masses appear to have bought into it.</p>
<p><a title="Bookmark and Share" href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?pub=tdksucks&amp;url=http://thedarkknightsucks.com/about-suspension-of-disbelief/&amp;title=About%20Suspension%20of%20Disbelief" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-share.gif" border="0" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" height="16" /></a></p>
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		<item>
		<title>Maybe He Should Try Forks</title>
		<link>http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/07/26/maybe-he-should-try-forks/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/07/26/maybe-he-should-try-forks/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 27 Jul 2008 01:01:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tdksucks</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Makeup/Custume]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Story/Plot Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Writing/Direction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bat pod]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[batman]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[batpod]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blue raja]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gadget]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gadgets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the blue raja]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thedarkknightsucks.wordpress.com/?p=324</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The original bat suit can&#8217;t protect him against dog bites?  What?  Wait, it can withstand bullets, but it can&#8217;t protect against dog bites.  The new one is easier to move in and protects him better from dog bites (maybe, this was never clarified), but no longer even partially protects him from bullets.  He&#8217;s one of [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/mystery-men.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-325" src="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/mystery-men.jpg" alt="" width="180" height="105" /></a>The original bat suit can&#8217;t protect him against dog bites?  What?  Wait, it can withstand bullets, but it can&#8217;t protect against dog bites.  The new one is easier to move in and protects him better from dog bites (maybe, this was never clarified), but no longer even partially protects him from bullets.  He&#8217;s one of the richest men in the country, he can coordinate huge government contracts which somehow allow him to appropriate the signals of 30 million cell phones in Gotham city (nevermind that the <a href="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/07/20/they-must-have-all-been-iphones/">sonar thing</a> is totally and completely unrealistic), but apparently he can&#8217;t afford a decent bat suit that BOTH let&#8217;s him turn his head AND protects his body the same as the first one.</p>
<p>So one would think that given this degradation of bat suit quality, there&#8217;s a prime opportunity in the movie for the addition of cool new gadgets.  Ya know &#8211; to make up for the stupidity.  What we get is: some sharp stuff that shoots out of his gloves.  Wow, cool.  Sharp things that fly out of the forearms of his gloves.  And the Bat Pod (motorbike) which lasted all of a single segment before getting trashed because, although he could control it enough to do a 180 against a wall, he can&#8217;t keep from crashing it when trying to avoid smashing into The Joker.</p>
<p>I almost forgot &#8211; we also got the amazing new addition of a short-lived hydraulic glove which allows him to bend steel&#8230; only in the first minutes of the movie.</p>
<p>So in anticipation of Batman 3 (or is it 6?), here are some thoughts for new gadgets and costume ideas:</p>
<ul>
<li>Taser guns, so he can keep The Joker from getting close enough to beat him nearly bare-handed when endless ninjas can&#8217;t</li>
<li>Mace, so when The Joker or a small child with an attitude does manage to get too close he can distract them long enough to run like a bat out of hell</li>
<li>A stick, so he can hit people and inflict actual damage &#8211; like causing blood to come out of their face (apparently as the interrogation room scene shows us, his fists can&#8217;t make blood come out of The Joker&#8217;s face even when he punches him dead-on and hard multiple times)</li>
<li>A <a href="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/07/24/he-was-missing-the-piece-of-meat/">piece of steak</a> so he can distract ravenous puppies</li>
<li>A muzzle &#8211; not for puppies but for himself so that nobody has to listen to his <a href="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/07/20/apparently-batman-gargles-rocks/">rock-gargling voice</a> as batman</li>
</ul>
<p>I know it&#8217;s a lot of expensive-sounding gadgetry, especially for a billionaire, but we&#8217;ve got to suspend SOME disbelief, OK?</p>
<p><a title="Bookmark and Share" href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?pub=tdksucks&amp;url=http://thedarkknightsucks.com/maybe-he-should-try-forks/&amp;title=Maybe%20He%20Should%20Try%20Forks" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-share.gif" border="0" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" height="16" /></a></p>
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		<title>Beam Everyone Out of the Hospital, Scotty</title>
		<link>http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/07/25/beam-everyone-out-of-the-hospital-scotty/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/07/25/beam-everyone-out-of-the-hospital-scotty/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 26 Jul 2008 00:45:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tdksucks</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Story/Plot Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Writing/Direction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[evacuation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gary Wallace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gotham]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hospital]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nolan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Joker]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Weird Science]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thedarkknightsucks.wordpress.com/?p=284</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Let&#8217;s look a little closer at yet another aspect of Nolan&#8217;s &#8220;ultra-real&#8221; superhero movie:
The time period of the hospital evacuation segment is implied as being enough time to evacuate an entire hospital.  The initial moments of The Joker&#8217;s threat hitting the airwaves, Gordon is heard shouting to various police crew to evacuate Gotham General Hospital [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/evacuate.gif"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-285" src="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/evacuate.gif" alt="" width="149" height="160" /></a>Let&#8217;s look a little closer at yet another aspect of Nolan&#8217;s &#8220;ultra-real&#8221; superhero movie:</p>
<p>The time period of the hospital evacuation segment is implied as being enough time to evacuate an entire hospital.  The initial moments of The Joker&#8217;s threat hitting the airwaves, Gordon is heard shouting to various police crew to evacuate Gotham General Hospital as the priority (and it happens to be the one The Joker picked).  Regardless, it’s implied that the whole ruckus about the hospital happened in less than 30 minutes since the Reese guy was about to go on a TV show to expose who Batman is (seems to imply a show teaser at the beginning of a 30 or 60 minute “news” show hosted by <a href="http://www.kutha.com/weirdscience.html" target="_blank">Gary Wallace from Weird Science</a>).  So, it’s IMPLIED as being enough time by the dialogue of the movie but in reality it would take HOURS, if not an entire day, to completely evacuate an entire hospital.  If it was the case that there was such an evacuation ahead of time, and it was evacuated before The Joker went to Dent’s room, why was Dent not evacuated?</p>
<p>Why would Dent be the sole patient left (contrary to Gordon wanting desperately to keep Dent safe throughout the story)?  The implication, then, is that the hospital is being evacuated at the same time The Joker shows up to Dent’s room.  The entire exchange between The Joker and Dent took place over 2-3 minutes and when The Joker walks out of the hospital it appears to be fully evacuated.</p>
<p><a href="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/kill-bill.jpg"><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-286" src="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/kill-bill.jpg" alt="" width="149" height="154" /></a>An entire major city hospital evacuated in 3 minutes.</p>
<p>The realness of this movie is astounding.  Not to mention how much the building actually looked like a hospital from the outside rather than an abandoned building in the middle of an industrial zone.</p>
<p><a title="Bookmark and Share" href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?pub=tdksucks&amp;url=http://thedarkknightsucks.com/beam-everyone-out-of-the-hospital-scotty/&amp;title=Beam%20Everyone%20Out%20of%20the%20Hospital,%20Scotty" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-share.gif" border="0" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" height="16" /></a></p>
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		<title>Hey Lucy, RICO Retardo is Home!</title>
		<link>http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/07/24/hey-lucy-rico-retardo-is-home/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/07/24/hey-lucy-rico-retardo-is-home/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 25 Jul 2008 06:47:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tdksucks</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Story/Plot Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Writing/Direction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chinese]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[district attorney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Harvey Dent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kidnapping]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rachel Dawes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[racketeering]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rico]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[united states attorney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[us attorney]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thedarkknightsucks.wordpress.com/?p=242</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Harvey Dent (shown here as Two-Face), cleaning up the criminal element in Gotham.
Well, the writers must have been a bit more lazy on the day they wrote the segment where Rachel and Harvey were trying to nail Lau on something.  Particularly, they were trying to use Lau as a means to incriminate all the crime [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div style="float:left;width:180px;"><a href="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/mars-attack-jack.jpg"><img src="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/mars-attack-jack.jpg" alt="" width="180" height="96" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size:0.8em;line-height:12px;font-weight:bold;">Harvey Dent (shown here as Two-Face), cleaning up the criminal element in Gotham.</span></div>
<div style="display:inline;">Well, the writers must have been a bit more lazy on the day they wrote the segment where Rachel and Harvey were trying to nail Lau on something.  Particularly, they were trying to use Lau as a means to incriminate all the crime heads in <a href="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/07/20/gotham-is-a-district-of-chicago/">Chicago (I mean Gotham)</a>.</div>
<p>Apparently, they got Batman to go all the way to China, risk his life, illegally kidnap a Chinese citizen who had not been convicted or even indicted on any US-based crime, and bring him back for questioning and they didn&#8217;t have an actual plan.  They had NO IDEA what to nail him on, they just knew that he was the money-man for the mob.  So, when he finally admits to being the banker for numerous criminal organizations, Harvey has a eureka moment with Rachel and blurts &#8220;we can get them on RICO!&#8221;, presuming of course they can prove just one of the organizations pooling their money with Lau had committed crimes.</p>
<p>A bit of education: RICO (<a href="http://www4.law.cornell.edu/uscode/18/usc_sup_01_18_10_I_20_96.html" target="_blank">Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act</a>) is a US federal law.  That means HAD that been the case that Harvey chose to pursue that path, he would have to hand over the entire case to a FEDERAL court, taking it completely out of his hands to prosecute &#8211; his jurisdiction was at a city level for <a href="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/07/20/gotham-is-a-district-of-chicago/">Chicago (I mean Gotham)</a>.  He was not a federal prosecutor.  If he was, he would be referred to in the movie as a United States Attorney.  If some want to argue semantics that he was a federal attorney and merely referred to as a District Attorney, that argument will fail because such positions are appointed by the President of the United States.  They are not elected to that position, as is the case with Harvey Dent (it&#8217;s pretty clear in both the viral marketing and election context of the movie).</p>
<p>That was just one flaw with that segment; another flaw is the fact that Lau&#8217;s lawyer just stood there doing nothing while Harvey and Rachel were using unjust tactics to pressure him to talk, making implications they would place his life in danger based on how much he cooperates.  Because, without those tactics, they didn’t seem to even have a clue of what to get Lau to admit to which might implicate the criminals they were after.</p>
<p><a title="Bookmark and Share" href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?pub=tdksucks&amp;url=http://thedarkknightsucks.com/hey-lucy-rico-retardo-is-home/&amp;title=Hey%20Lucy,%20RICO%20Retardo%20is%20Home!" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-share.gif" border="0" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" height="16" /></a></p>
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		<title>Give Maroni a Break</title>
		<link>http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/07/24/give-maroni-a-break/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thedarkknightsucks.com/2008/07/24/give-maroni-a-break/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 24 Jul 2008 08:59:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tdksucks</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Story/Plot Problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Subpar Acting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Writing/Direction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[broken bones]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cane]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Eric Roberts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[eyeballs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Maroni]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Salvatore Maroni]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thedarkknightsucks.wordpress.com/?p=205</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[At some point in the movie Batman throws the mob boss Salvatore Maroni, played by Eric Roberts, from a few stories up, and Maroni lands on his feet none too comfortably &#8211; it&#8217;s clearly shown and implied that he at least broke his ankles if not altogether broke major bones in his legs.  Yet later [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/strongbones.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-215" src="http://thedarkknightsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/strongbones.jpg" alt="" width="140" height="140" /></a>At some point in the movie Batman throws the mob boss Salvatore Maroni, played by Eric Roberts, from a few stories up, and Maroni lands on his feet none too comfortably &#8211; it&#8217;s clearly shown and implied that he at least broke his ankles if not altogether broke major bones in his legs.  Yet later in the movie, not very long at all in the the overall timeline, he&#8217;s seen standing rather normally outside Harvey Dent&#8217;s hospital room when James Gordon walks out and talks to him.  Then later shown walking almost normally with just the help of a cane when stepping into his limo.</p>
<p>So let&#8217;s get this straight &#8211; a man (clearly in his late 40s or early 50s) is dropped feet-first from a height of approximately 2 or 3 stories (maybe more), lands smack on his feet with a seriously disturbing cracking sound shown very distinctly, and barely 2 (or at most 3) days later in the story line he&#8217;s walking and standing almost completely normally with barely the need of a cane.</p>
<p>Maybe his legs have the same ability to withstand damage as Harvey&#8217;s eyeballs? Maybe Harvey should have traded his eyeballs for Maroni&#8217;s legs because he didn&#8217;t appear to survive what seemed to be a fall from the same height at the end of the movie.</p>
<p>Or maybe Maroni got strong bones by emulating Batman.  Hey Batman, <a href="http://www.bodybymilk.com/batman/ad.html">got milk?</a></p>
<p><a title="Bookmark and Share" href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?pub=tdksucks&amp;url=http://thedarkknightsucks.com/give-maroni-a-breakgive-marconi-a-break/&amp;title=Give%20Marconi%20a%20Break" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-share.gif" border="0" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" height="16" /></a></p>
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